If I let my mind turn endlessly
On the awful possibilities
What might happen to me
Or the people I love
Or even people I don't know
Till I am numb with fear -
They win.
If I feel sick to my stomach
All day, brooding in stress,
Unable to enjoy the meal in front of me,
Unable to enjoy a hot coffee
Or a cold drink -
They win.
If I am so distracted by fear
That every sunrise is clouded
By thoughts of "What if...?"
Every trip to work or back home again
Is a journey into dark thoughts
Of hypothetical futures,
Every evening at home
No longer feels safe,
But fragile, as if it all might
Come crashing down before
Tomorrow evening -
They win.
If I am scared so much
That I feel myself turn pale,
Drained of color,
Drained of my essential self,
So scared
That I stop being me,
Stop being the best possible version of me -
Whoever that is -
They win.
Because before it all started,
I could could go about my day
Half-heartedly, half-assed,
And slide by.
But now, I need the very best version of my self
On deck, ready for action,
Mind sharp,
Reflexes quick,
Ready for action
But not hemmed in by
Reaction.
If I am scared
It's because they want me to be
Worried
All the time
About me
About you
About the world.
But my imagination
Can only work for me
If I use the fears it conjures up
To imagine actions.
And when I think,
And when I act,
They don't win.
Speak up.
Talk to someone different from you.
Provoke thought, not anger.
Ask why without rancor.
Think hard.
Find insight.
Look at everything
From multiple perspectives.
Tell stories.
Listen to stories.
Share stories.
And when they want to win,
Don't even play their game.
